i hate you.....

i'm having trouble focusing the facts
what is and what isn’t.

you blur my lines
we’ve come so far haven’t we?
strangers...friends...lovers
what’s next dearest?

i look at your face
and already I feel I know it so well
through my distorted view
and your colorless eyes
i know what each line and each expression mean
or at least I think I do

naked....

bodies...hearts...words
i've seen it all of you
you’re amazing

and I'm blessed

in all my dreams I never though we'd cross
i've always looked to you
now in another light
how did this happen?
when?
years ago probably
a seed growing
so long under the surface
and now blooming

sometimes I hate you
want not to know you
sometimes I love you
and hate to not know you
It’s strange isn’t it?

this paradox often has me perplexed
tell me all the answers
i anticipate each morning
and each night you’re in my thoughts
i remember every word
i remember every talk

how did this happen...?
when...?

my life is upside-down
and I'm beside myself with joy

sadness..grief..anticipation
excitement..sorrow..love

thank you,
but I hate you.....